Life Story “When Too much Exercise Becomes Dangerous”

Anthony is a 26-year-old full-time engineer living with two childhood friends and teammates in the city where he was born. His weekly schedule is quite intense: he works as an engineer from Monday to Friday, trains with weights at the gym, and trains basketball at least five times a week (often in the evenings or after work). He plays competitively in a lower-league team, which takes up a significant part of his free time. When he is not working or training, he spends time socializing at the pub with friends. His schedule leaves little room for rest, and he often sleeps only about 4 hours per night. He also tends to skip meals, relies heavily on coffee, and occasionally binge drinks or smokes tobacco.

He views himself as strong, calm, independent, confident, and sociable. Deep down, he still carries the dream of becoming a professional basketball player, but he realistically accepts that at 26 this is no longer possible. Still, he remains energetic, intentional with his engineering profession, and proud of his athletic ability and social circle. 

Sports and health play important but mixed roles in his daily routine. On the positive side, basketball is his main passion and gives him energy, structure, and social connection. He clearly values physical fitness and continues to train intensely. However, his attitude toward overall health is inconsistent. He neglects several health-seeking behaviors: chronic sleep deprivation, frequently skipped meals, excessive coffee consumption, binge drinking, and recent tobacco smoking. These habits show that while he prioritizes athletic performance and social life, he does not consistently prioritize broader physical or mental health maintenance.

During the past year, Anthony has dealt with chronic back pain and repetitive colds that he catches at a surprisingly high rate. He often gets headaches and feels tired and stressed. Socially, he maintains a very stable and supportive network. Many of his sports teammates are also his friends and drinking buddies. At work, Anthony feels a lot of pressure and stress but doesn’t talk about it and feel pride about the fact that he can keep it all in.  

Yet while he does this, his drinking increases, he finds less and less time to feed himself properly, and his basketball matches do not turn out as well as they did when he was younger. To him, this clearly calls for one thing: more exercise – as he has internalizеd the motivational quote that “pain is just weakness leaving the body”. When the muscles in his back protest, he doubles down on training, even against his coach’s advice. He doesn’t stop when he catches a cold or coughs. In fact, the last cold he had, he made it worse by staying out all night, not eating, and then sleeping only about three hours before going to a basketball game and then work the next day. Anthony has never verbalized this to anyone, but he deeply believes that because he is a man, he needs to just “roll with the punches” and “suck it up”. And even though he feels genuine comfort when spending time with his friends, he does not open up to them about his struggles because, at the end of the day, many of them are going through similar situations, and sitting around to complain would be a waste of time. Instead, they support each other and bond by drinking beer, exercising, and sometimes playing video games.

The turning point came one day when Anthony arrived late to work. It was not the first ime and upon seeing Anthony enter the office looking visibly exhausted, and unprepared, his supervisor felt very frustrated. The boss declared that this would be Anthony’s last day unless he “got his act together.” Anthony, already sick from his cold, with back pain and a pounding headache, stayed completely silent. He didn’t respond and simply carried on with his tasks. This only made the boss angrier and because of this, Anthony was fired.

Anthony stood up and left. The physical pain and discomfort he was feeling prevented him from fully processing what had just happened. Instead of going home, he headed straight to the pub and got drunk. He didn’t want to face his problems, but in doing so he also missed an important basketball match he was scheduled to play that evening. When he finally got home that night, his teammates already knew something was wrong as he had never missed a game before. They both noticed he was drunk and looked at him with a disappointed and worried look. 

This night was something that he would never forget. Perhaps from the stress and the hangover, his back felt as though the vertebrae in his spine were being mercilessly squeezed and twisted in all the wrong directions. The pain was excruciating. He felt nauseated, hungry, lightheaded, and utterly exhausted all at once. Before he could react, he vomited on the carpet in his family’s living room.

The following day, Anthony woke up in his bed. It felt as though he had suffered a muscle spasm, because every movement in his back was excruciating. Lying there shirtless, he looked down at his abdomen, he couldn’t even remember the last time he had sat down for a proper meal. Soon after, his roommates came into the room with some food and water. They told him they were there for him no matter what and stayed by his bedside in silence. After a few minutes, they gently began to explain why his behaviour had been harmful. Deep down, Anthony knew they were right. He understood their reasoning and agreed with their concerns. He mentioned his bаck pain to them. He didn’t need to bring up his cold, as his friend interrupted to say that none of his frequent colds had gone unnoticed. His team had already been suspicious about how often he got sick. That morning, they remained with him for hours, and together they talked about possible ways for him to recover.

Apart from losing his job, a major setback was that he would not be able to continue playing basketball for the rest of the season. Everyone understood that if he wanted to get better, he finally needed to rest and stop overexerting his body. This meant learning to cope with stress in healthier ways. Anthony knew this would take a lot of effort, because part of him genuinely enjoyed the challenge of pushing himself beyond his limits. But for now, he had to change his lifestyle, which meant altering his routine and his environment. He also made an appointment with a  doctor, who would medically examine his back, as he was unable to walk without excruciating pain for the rest of the week. The rest of his recovery process was very slow, but the momentum held because of his own determination and the steady support of his family.

Anthony’s back issues have largely recovered after a couple of months. He now eats more regularly and has resumed exercising, though not at the intense level he used to. He sometimes feels isolated because he is the only one in his friend group who no longer drinks alcohol. This makes meeting up with them challenging at times, but he finds comfort in knowing his true friends will always be there for a game of basketball. This gives him peace of mind. He has also fully recovered from the cold he had during his crisis, and more importantly, he has not caught another one or experienced the same recurring headaches and exhaustion. He sees this as a sign that his immune system is strengthening. He now prioritises sleep, which leaves him feeling more prepared and energised for daily life. He is still looking for a new job, but he trusts that the right opportunity will come at the right time, and his parents continue to support him through the process.

Looking back, the main thing Anthony would do differently is avoid overexerting his body and then using alcohol to mask the pain. He knows he will eventually be able to enjoy a casual beer or two with his loved ones again, but for now he is taking deliberate steps to break that habit. He has also promised himself never to ignore physical symptoms anymore. Deep down, he had always suspected that catching colds so frequently was not normal, and now he has clear confirmation that his immune system was simply overwhelmed because his body was overburdened.

You don’t have to push through pain and exhaustion just to prove you’re strong. Listen to your body, talk to the people who care about you, and choose health over the myth that a man must always “suck it up”.

1. Which parts of the story feel familiar to you?
2. What warning signs might you currently be ignoring in your own life?
3. What beliefs about being a man might make it harder for you to seek help?
4. What small step could you take this week to better take care of your health?